Monday was successful for several reasons. Got laundry done. House cleaned (even mirrors done!) Got my 2010 blog books ordered (had to do 2 volumes again...guess getting behind in blogging didn't actually cut down on any blogging!). So excited to see how they turn out! It's always so fun to look through the books and remember things you had forgotten.
But it was mostly successful because my heart was at peace. It hadn't been truly at peace for a couple of weeks before...because of some different things. But David and I one of THOSE conversations on Sunday night. It started on Saturday night and then continued on Sunday night. One of those conversations that happen and you know that you're going to remember it the rest of your life. So good. So much there. So much that we don't even fully grasp. But I realized many things. One is that I am so incredibly thankful for the husband that God gave. He is so incredibly devoted to the Lord, and I can't tell you how reassuring that is to me. He is completely rock solid in his faith, and that strength gives ME so much strength. We can talk about anything. Anything! He is committed to me and to our family. Period. I love that I know that I don't ever have to doubt him. He is SO patient with me. When I ramble, when I'm emotional. When I'm just flat out selfish. When I'm wrong. He loves me and gently pushes me back to the Lord to see for myself. I also realized just how selfish I can be. That there are things - even good things - that I can hold on way too tightly to. That I need to be willing to say "no matter what, Lord. I will follow." That's hard to say and REALLY mean it. I realized just how blessed we are. How blessed I am to be able to raise our children in the environment they are in. Because there are people that have experienced horrendous things in their lives. People that never had parents that love and kiss and hold them. People that never had any love shown to them. And as a mom, that totally breaks my heart. So I realized that my heart needs to break more for that - even if that means my safe little life is going to be inconvenienced.
I'm sure not alot of this will make much sense, but I needed to record it because it was one of those nights. I was heartsick most of the day yesterday about it, but in a good way. It's hard to look at how much pain there is in this world, but we need to see it. So I don't forget what our mission is.