Sunday, April 5, 2009

Hard Goodbyes...

We were up at 6 am to pack the last of David's things. I had a hard time falling asleep the night before - just kept thinking about everything over and over. How's David going to handle all the new responsibilities. How are the kids going to handle missing their Daddy. How am I going to handle....well, everything else? So David finished up loading his things and we got the kids up to be able to have breakfast together. David was on the road by 7 am. I was a mess, and then worried about trying to hold it together so the kids wouldn't worry.

I got everyone dressed for church, and my sweet babies looked so cute. I just kept looking at them all morning. So thankful for them. So thankful that they are so young and oblivious to so much.

Church was hard though. I won't lie. Having to answer the question all morning of "where's David? Did he leave yet?" was hard. They did a special Living Lord's Supper in the service, and so Josiah sat with me for that. I was thankful for it - I found myself crying on and off throughout the whole service. Things like heading towards my pew...without David leading the way. Singing songs in worship that David leads. Just little things. We didn't stay for small group - I didn't think I could make it. We got home, fed the kids lunch as quickly as I could, and then got everyone down for a nap. I even laid down for an hour, and that felt good.

David got in that afternoon and hit the ground running with a choir practice that evening. He was able to get most of his things settled that afternoon where he's staying, and even got his new cell phone! (He got mine too, so I guess a SC cell phone number makes our move official, right?)

Anyways, it was hard. I was more emotional than I thought I'd be. I'll blame it on the pregnancy hormones I suppose. I have been trying to keep perspective. I feel like a baby when I look around and see all the countless military wives whose husbands are gone for deployments that list 6, 9, 12, or even 15 months at a time! At least we will have little breaks to get to see David. And it is only for a few months. I'm thankful that my kids are healthy. That they are good sleepers - at least I know that when bedtime comes around, once we get everyone in bed, then I'm DONE for the night. I'm thankful for my husband who is VERY hands on with our kids and for the help he is to me. We do have much to be thankful for!

Here were my sweet kids on Sunday morning - aren't they cute?
And here was Callie's attempt at being defiant at naptime....the kids were all totally exhausted for the weekend. Yet, she was trying hard to "not" take a nap. However, this is how I found her when I checked on her a bit later. With her new shoes put on, blanket over her head, and asleep on the rocking chair. Sweet girl.


dandsratz said...

Oh dear dear eyes are filled with tears as I read this. It does make you appreciate what an incredible husband David is, doesn't it!! But I know that it doesn't make it any easier that he's not here. We just need to keep thinking HOW EXCITING it is when you get to drive there for the last time....with all the furntiture & stuff....its going to be SOOOO fun!!!! The Lord is stretching you...even with those pregnancy hormones, and you are going to come out of all of this even stronger!! And just for the record....I would be worse off than you are emotionally if my Dave were to be away for awhile, even if I wasn't prego!! :) You are amazing and we love you SOOO much!!! I'm careful at how much I leave comments with my user blog name, so I'll call you instead of commenting on the rest! :)

Judy said...

Now look at how handsome/cute your kids looked going to church! I mean seriously, they're even holding hands! You can do this!! You're an incredible mom and your act of staying put and getting your house sold is the best way for you to support David right now! I'm praying and agreeing with you that this seperation will only be for a short time, but in the meantime know that you're greatly loved and admired and God will never give you more than you can handle (even if you feel like you could argue the point with Him :)

Erica said...

Katy, you are strong. We all know that. You are handling this with grace and patience and a resolute attitude that your kids will see and learn from and rest in :) Knowing how it feels to have Daddy gone for an endless amount of time, I feel all of your pains, or at least most of them. Just remember that you are cannot do it all and you cannot be it all for your sweet babies! Praying you through. And, do something I have never been good at, ASK FOR HELP and TAKE IT when it is offered!